Nomination For a Hero Badge

Been there done that! Cops in Florida busted this old gal for drug possession. Contrary to popular belief, one of the requirements of a possession case is to prove that the defendant was in “knowing possession of the evidence. Cops sometimes travel a twisted road to reach that destination. This story illustrates that journey.

I have a theory about this incident. One possibility is divulged in the police reports and the story related at the link. It could have happened that way.

Cops executed a search warrant at a residence, The young lady, pictured above, was one of five people detained. Cops found a backpack containing drugs and paraphernalia. It also contained this lady’s identification. Most cops would have been happy to note the proximity of the drugs to the driver;s license bearing her name to bolster the belief that the defendant knowingly possessed the contraband. But this event took place in Florida. The cops went the extra mile. According to the reporting officer it was one additional item and the plea regarding that item put the case for knowing possession over the top.

The 27-year-old Messina made this plea after investigators found a “blue vibrator” in the backpack, according to a police report. The backpack also contained Messina’s drivers license and “a necklace with the name Ariella,” cops noted.

By asking for her sex toy, police declared, Messina made it “apparent that the backpack was hers and she was aware of the contents inside.”

The Smoking Gun

Shazam! from sex toy to trial exhibit, in the blink of an eye. Lesser cops would have ignored the blue appliance. Here’s to you Officer Heeter who forged his own path to “legend in his own time” status.

Been There Done That!

Years ago, I executed a search warrant on a couple of speed dealers and their girlfriends. An undercover officer had met with the guys and purchased a quantity of methamphetamine. All four suspects were present during the transaction and participated in the sale in one fashion or another. When the door came down, we located the dope and the related paraphernalia. There were a variety of documents that showed that the two males paid the bills and were leasing the residence. We found a house key on the keyring belonging to one of the females. We didn’t find anything that tied the second female to the residence and by extension the dope. Without something tying her to the residence, we would be hard pressed to argue that she was more than a casual visitor.

As the search continued one of the search team found a blue dildo in a nightstand. He retrieved it and threw it to his partner. His partner caught it, recognized it and promptly dropped it. He gave it a kick to send it back to the finder. This action caused it to turn on.

I hesitate to call the object a vibrator, because it did so much more. The device began squirming and crawling across the room. I think it was powered by a two stroke Honda motor. The finding, then pitching, kicking and then the dildo’s progress across the room was a source of great hilarity on the part of the two narcs. Their peals of laughter and ribald comments reached the living room where the four suspects and I were sitting.

The female suspect that was not linked to the residence then made a comment. “Looks like they found my friend.”

I booked the dildo as evidence that linked her to the residence and by extension to the dope. As I later explained to a doubting intake District Attorney, in my experience, I had never had a casual visitor to my residence arrive dildo in hand and ask to borrow my bedroom. The argument must have made sense to the DA because she took the case.

Was it inspired police work? Mighta been. On the other hand, the cops in Florida and I may have been reacting to a rallying cry known to cops, operators and rednecks everywhere.

You ain’t got a hair on your ass!

The usual response to such a challenge is, “Hold my beer!” But not always. In the context of this post the challenge is an indication that the utterer possesses little imagination and is bogged down in the status quo. Such a challenge is liable to stiffen resolve of the challenged. One can only imagine that such a challenge was uttered to the Pilgrims as they boarded the Mayflower. It was heard again when John Hancock and Sam Adams decided to have a tea party. Who knows? Custer may have ridden on to his destiny with that refrain ringing in his ears. Two out of three, the challenge is not always a precursor to success.