Dating in the New Millennium

There was an article making the rounds last week that claimed the people would try all sorts of lies, in order to get laid. Well I’ll admit to using a couple of tried and true lies in the past. I guess I don’t have much imagination. I didn’t stray far from,”of course I’ll respect you in the morning,” “I love you” and the ever popular, “I promise not to….”

Apparently there are liars out there that know no bounds, in their quest for sexual gratification. I have to admit I couldn’t conceive of this one, much less see it coming.

This guy would contact home health care agencies and request an aide to care for his imaginary, mentally retarded brother, Cory. The health care worker would find the Mild Mannered Pervert (MMP) posing as Cory and in dire need of a diaper change.

In the process of the diaper change, Mr. Woody, would put in an appearance. Here is how the Louisiana State Police described events:

Police said that as soon as he made an arrangement with a health care worker, he would then pose as “Cory” while “allowing the care provider to change his adult diaper and obtain sexual arousal under the false pretenses of being handicapped.”

After 10 separate incidents involving the same unidentified health care worker, officials said the victim became suspicious and soon discovered that Deas had made up “Cory.”

Okay, Home Health Care Worker is not skilled labor. Rocket science is not a prerequisite for the job. But ten times before the worker got suspicious?

Stop me if you’ve heard this one… This guy goes bear hunting. On the first night in camp a bear attacks the guy and anally rapes him. The guy returns year after year, during bear season, with the same result. Finally the bear confronts the guy saying, “This was never about hunting was it?”

Guys of my generation dressed to impress. The hope was by putting our best foot forward we would increase our chances of getting laid. Who knew we were doing it all wrong?