Florida Man….

Do you know where your pool float is, or even worse where it has been? Who needs a sex robot? Not this guy. Think about this story a moment. His parents must be so proud.

A Florida man arrested in the theft of stolen pool floats told cops he used the inflatables for sex instead of raping women, court papers show.

Christopher Monnin, 35, was charged Thursday with breaking into the backyards of homes with pools in Palm Bay and stealing only flotation devices, according to the arrest affidavit.

“Defendant stated that he sexually gratifies himself with the pool floats instead of raping women,” the affidavit said.

My experience with crooks is that when one is caught in embarrassing or incriminating circumstances the default response is to deny, deny, deny.

“Who you gonna believe me or your lying eyes?”

His admission would seem to indicate that the possibility of embarrassment is not present. This may be a ploy to avoid prosecution. How would you feel if you lived in Palm Bay and read this story while breakfasting on Post Toasties? How quick would you be to claim your missing a pool float?