New Immigration Strategy- Abuelas Beware

The way we go about hunting illegal aliens wetbacks is all wrong. I forgot illegal aliens is not politically correct. Anyways, where I was heading, before I interrupted myself is that law enforcement tactics aren’t natural. They are destined for failure. Keep in mind the lions, tigers, jackals, dingos, and hyenas that have appeared on National Geographic. What are these predators doing as we watch? Nothing! They are laying around, catching a few rays all fat and sassy.

Every once in a while one of these predators will get up wander over to the Gazelle herd. The lioness will go after a gazelle, cut it out of the herd, one chomp on the neck and dinner is ready. We are so enthralled by the death of that single gazelle, that we don’t see the big picture. As the lioness begins her pursuit, Gazelles are running all over the place, they are passing the lioness as if she is standing still. RULE #1 Old, fat, and slow means dinner. The lions all the other predators know the younger the game, the longer the hunt, the less time to spend grooming one’s genitals.

Democratic and female lawmakers are trying to widen the border’s catch and release loopholes by portraying women and children as the most pitiable victims of President Donald Trump’s immigration policies.

“This administration is clearly decided that they’re going to attack women, children, and their families,” said Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA) at a Thursday press event. “The government should be in the business of keeping families together not tearing families apart.”

Six to sixty, blind cripple or crazy, nobody gets a by. If they are here illegally dripping wet or spun dry they are subject to arrest. INS or ICE has been playing games chasing after the gangbangers, thugs and healthy males. They are going about it all wrong.

ICE should be targeting the Abuelas, mamas, aunties, sisters, baby mamas and kids. Everybody loves their grandmother, even thugs. Face it the old ladies can’t run as fast, can’t fight worth a shit, and don’t know how to hide as well as their evil spawn. So they ought to be easy to catch. Put the word out, hey vatos we’re shipping your womenfolk and kids back. If we can’t find somebody to watch the kids, we’ll sell to white slavers. You can see them in their first film role at the local adult bookstore in a couple of months. This is called the rock. Then comes bail out, vatos surrender and everybody leaves. It’s an all or nothing proposition.

I’m not entirely heartless. The vatos can apply for US citizenship from their home country and after a two-year wait, return with a visa. There is a catch when they leave the United States the vatos gotta pack a liberal under each arm. When the vatos are ready to return, the liberals have got to stay. Lot desert and jungle out there. It is a win-win for everybody all around. The vatos get a path to citizenship, the liberals get to visit native peoples on their tuft and leave the United States, a place they hate.

Now some are going to accuse me of not being sportsmanlike. What I am suggesting is akin to hunting over a baited field.   I would point out that with the exception of the Canadian Goose most game birds migrate and give their host some relief.

It is an idea whose time has come. There I fixed it.