Fun With Headlines

Ohio teacher allegedly masturbated in classroom with students in room: report

What is the purpose of a headline? Is a headline supposed to grab the reader’s attention without regard to the underlying story? Is it a summary of what is to come in the story? Possibly it is an exercise in snark. Is it an opportunity for the editor to show off? Does a headline have to inform? Is it an advertising trick: “sell the sizzle, not the steak”?

Writing headlines, it appears, is an art and some editors just don’t have the talent.

What does this headline mean? We know that a teacher in Ohio was caught behaving badly. We know his offense involved masturbation. The story and headline fail to establish what transpired.

Was this some kind of group effort? Could he have been leading the class in a group exercise, calling the cadence and urging the class to new heights of perversion? The article is silent.

Did he use a student or multiple students as a masturbatory aid? “That pervert was masturbating. I wanted to leave but couldn’t because he was using my hand!” Again, the headline doesn’t indicate one way or the other.

I guess it is a case of one good jerk deserves another.

Many try and few succeed. Mr Musetto you are still the greatest.

Vincent A. Musetto, who wrote the greatest headline in New York newspaper history, by which all other headlines are measured.