FBI Story

There’s a reason Cops refer to the FBI as Famous But Incompetent

Lady Gaga’s dogs

The FBI has decided to take on the dognapping of Lady Gaga’s pooches. The old, “You can rationalize anything if you try” trick. Almost twenty years ago, when I was assigned to a narcotics task force (federally funded) the boss asked for FBI assistance on an investigation. A fellow investigator stole a kilo of cocaine that was evidence in a Federal case. The FBI said they’d get back to him. It has been almost twenty years and the FBI still hasn’t replied.

We handled the investigation-inhouse. The miscreant did ten plus years in the Federal joint.

The FBI is reportedly investigating whether the dognapping of Lady Gaga’s bulldogs was politically motivated because she sang at President Joe Biden’s inauguration last month. 

According to The Sun, FBI agents who specialize in kidnapping and ransom cases are working with the Los Angeles Police Department to find out ‘exactly what motivated this incident’.


If I was an FBI agent I would tell everybody that I was a piano player in a gay whorehouse, just to keep from embarrassing my mother.