I get a kick out of these ying-yangs that go on and on about the horror of governmental surveillance, big brother is watching. This, as they stand in line, hand over their Starbucks card and order the double cappuccino, triple espresso shot, with caramel, hold the whipped cream with sweet and low (gotta watch the calories). I have a theory that one’s asshole quotient can be scientifically calculated by the complexity of their Starbucks coffee order. At any rate the order is hardly needed because according to the Starbucks card that is the only thing ever ordered, at this time of day, on this card. 

The lecture continues at the HEB checkout line about being ever vigilant for government spies prying into every aspect of life.  A swipe of the bank card and the HEB computer confirms for the 26th week in a row, the same brand, milk, toothpaste, orange juice and bread was purchased on this card.  It also notes an anomaly, a home pregnancy tester.  Starting next week HEB mailbox adds will heavily represent, maternal clothing, vitamin supplements, baby food and baby shampoo.  Don’t look for the tampon ads they won’t be there.

Now comes the latest outraged consumer.  A woman known only as N.P. bought a “We Vibe” dildo from the smart-dildo-company. One of the features of the “We Vibe” dildo is that is Internet enabled.  How far we have come, ten years ago dildo’s didn’t have an on/off switch, now they can transmit via the Internet. Is it too much to ask, prior to purchase; transmit what, to whom? I suppose camera enabled might appeal to some users, but on the whole I don’t see a lot of IM’s, tweets, or emails to work going out.

Ms. N.P. feels like her privacy has been violated. The package said INTERNET ENABLED, what else does she need? The only valid complaint I can see is if “We Vibe” promised Ms. N.P. frequent flier miles and their accounting was incorrect.