A University of Texas, Austin student has taken upon herself to schedule a campus event protesting the state law that will allow concealed carry license holders to carry firearms on campus.  She is urging like minded individuals to arm themselves with bright colored dildos. The Dildo Protest will identify those students who would prefer to give up their rights while lying down.

A quick scan of the Internet will reveal that the unlicensed unregistered possession of dildos can pose a significant public safety risk.  In a New York City Subway a man wielding a 16 inch long black dildo terrorized a car full of commuters. In another case a drunken woman held an entire mobile home park at bay armed with a dildo Drunk woman. No less an authority than CNN, you know they would never lie to you, has identified the dildo as a symbol for the terrorist group ISIS CNN.  

I once had a Sergeant who maintained one should never carry anything on your gun belt that wouldn’t fit comfortably up your ass.  That mindset presupposes you are going to lose a fight. I never went into a situation planning to lose. I didn’t always win, most of the time (when it was close) I held my own until help arrived.  Occasionally, when I was near beat, the other guy decided the cost of winning was to high and abandoned the field of combat.

UPDATE:  When I wrote this I thought I was writing about a more or less anatomically correct device that came in a variety of colors.  This was based on what I observed during a commercial obscenity investigation from thirty years ago.  Breitbart has shown me that I am behind the times. I am unfamiliar with the nomenclature of dildos so will use terms that I am familiar with and hope you can follow along.

The length of some of these things would make a shetland pony blush.  The girth is more akin to a small  field piece, say a 37mm.  Most models seem to have extended magazines for batteries and an appendage that appears to be a pistol grip.  I guess imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. They damn so called assault rifles on the one hand and then develop a fluorescent pink dildo version of an assault rifle with the other.

Is it inappropriate to say, “You go girl!” at this point?