The Catholic Church needs help and I’m here to provide it.

I’m okay with the Catholic religion. It’s the Catholic Church I don’t like. If the hierarchy of the Church doesn’t believe the shit they are spinning, why should I? Take pedophilia, bad for the congregation, but for the clergy; not so much. 

Where does the Pope go for advice? I figured it out. It may explain his latest statement regarding the sex abuse scandal rocking the church.

“In these times, it seems like the ‘Great Accuser’ has been unchained and is attacking bishops. True, we are all sinners, we bishops. He tries to uncover the sins, so they are visible in order to scandalize the people…

Pope Francis

Here he is the power behind the power, Father Guido Sarducci. He was the longest running guest character on Saturday Night Live. With credentials like that how can the church go wrong?

I say we retire the middleman and elevate Father Guido Sarducci. Catholics can’t do any worse compared to the Bozo they have now.

There I fixed it!