Okay, I’m a philistine. I saw a story (below) about ape artwork and the colony they inhabit. Here is an example of their work.

Ape Artwork

With human aid, an art colony of retired, show business apes has been formed in Florida. Why the hell not? All sorts of ne’er do wells find themselves in Florida.

The thing is, they have all of the talent of a Picasso and none of the baggage. They can give Pollock a run for his money. Compare Jason Pollock with ape art.

Jason Pollock, 1950

Compare Pollock’s bar tab with the cost of bananas and the ape art is a bargain, without sacrificing “artistic integrity.

Back around 2009 I was working in Arlington, Virginia. On one blustery day my brother and I hit the museums on the National Mall. The Museum of Indian Culture seemed to be dedicated to 101 creative uses of empty beer cans. We fled to the museum of modern art. The beer cans were a better exhibit.

At any rate, the museum of modern art seemed to contain a bunch of empty spaces. Most notable was that the roof leaked. Ar various points throughout the exhibit area we were confronted with clusters of tourists. They were led by tour guides weaving their way thru wet floor signs.

Notice the bold use of color. The simplicity of design…

My brother claims that he can’t take me anywhere. In museums, tour guides are called docents. Docents explain that silly shit, isn’t.

At any rate, after hovering on the edge and listening to their line of shit, I decided to try my hand. I took up station on a floor sign, like the one pictured.

I then proceeded to congratulate the artist on his bold use of colors. I explained that the placement of the exhibit drew the public in and made it interactive. I lost my brother, he walked away. However, I gained three tourists from Cleveland. I coulda been a contender.

Years later I took his wife, a Jersey girl, to the “National Mall.” She was disappointed there was no Neiman Marcus.

Now who’s the philistine?