Candidate for Noble Prize in Science?
‘The Blowjob Paper:’ Scientists Processed 109 Hours of Oral Sex to Develop an AI that Sucks Dick
Anonymous machine learning engineers wrote ‘The Blowjob Paper’ to try to make this bj machine more lifelike.
The Autoblow AI, a sex toy made for penis-possessing individuals, consists of a rubbery sleeve and a motor housed inside a canister that aims to simulate oral sex. It launched its Indiegogo campaign last week and quickly hit its goal of $50,000. Its biggest advertised advantage over the original model from 2014, the Autoblow 2, is a machine learning algorithm that “continually changes technique” in order to pleasure the user in new and exciting ways.
Instead of repetitive, mechanical motions, this “AI mode” promises to replicate the nuanced and unpredictable motions of a real, human blowjob. In order to do this, the company asked a team of six people to watch and annotate 109 hours of porn and hired machine learning engineers to create a model to take all that data and translate it into what the toy does. This entire process took three years.
People will probably accuse me of being a pervert for posting about sexbots and artificial blowjob machines. That isn’t true. Okay, maybe it is, but only on alternate Saturdays. The libido isn’t what it used to be.
Actually, I like irony. Here we have a group of scientists doing scientist stuff to identify what makes a perfect blowjob. There are manufacturers that paid $30,000 for the study and will devote manufacturing R&D, time and labor to duplicate the results. They intend to market this device to men that are apparently to busy or cheap to search out a blowjob in a more traditional manner.
Consider the implications. One of those scientists could have been on track to be the next great inventor. He/she might have come up with a device to benefit all of mankind. However, the blowjob project came up. The scientist got sidetracked. What might have been.
Did the next Jonas Salk blow off medical school in favor of staying home with his “Autoblow?”
If this technology had been available to Blow Job Bill Clinton, the serial rapist, would his tryst with Monica ever occurred? Without that scandal would he have run for a third term and triggered a constitutional crisis?
Put into this context the blog is not titillating but a genuine inquiry into the priorities of society.
Here is the money quote from the article.
The Blowjob Paper
“My takeaway is that convolutional neural networks are super fussy, and the fact that AI can understand such a super high level idea as a blowjob is somewhat surprising,” they said.
To think I’ve been pursuing “super high level ideas” all of my adult life. Most men don’t know what a perfect blowjob is. They would probably agree they never had a bad one.