I blame the democrats. The last safe haven for American males has been booby trapped through the efforts of rabid environmentalists. No longer is it possible to retreat to that place every man calls his own. The days of taking a leisurely dump, surrounded by a funk of your own making are gone. Forget the newspaper, cigarette and cup of coffee. Best sellers are out. Both hands will be needed to plug your ears in anticipation of the explosion from the bowl, rather than in the bowl. Life almost isn’t worth living.