PJ Media Florida man Friday

It goes without saying…. That might apply in places other than Florida. But not Florida. Say what you mean and mean what you say or you will never get your point across. Stop the spread of herpes. If you see a monkey wandering around Florida: Don’t fuck it!

Unexpected Headlines, Even in Florida, Which Is Really Saying Something

(Image by Robbie Ross from Pixabay.)

Roving band of herpes-ridden monkeys now roaming northeast Florida.

The details are oh-so-Florida:

The STD-addled rhesus macaques had previously been confined to Silver Springs State Park near Ocala, Florida, but are now being spotted miles away in Jacksonville, St. Johns, St. Augustine, Palatka, Welaka and Elkton, Florida, according to a local ABC affiliate, First Coast News.

Even more worrying: Over a quarter of the 300 feral macaques — an invasive species native to South and Southeast Asia — carry herpes B, according to a 2018 survey, National Geographic reported.

The monkeys were introduced to the area in the 1930s by a local cruise operator, Colonel Tooey’s Jungle Cruise, which released 12 monkeys over a series of years onto a man-made island inside Silver Springs State Park. The monkeys swam to freedom and reproduced at alarming rates and are now wandering around residential areas.

The question on most everyone’s mind is: WHERE DID THEY GET THE HERPES?

But the question on my mind is: What if we trained the herpes-infected monkeys to crave the taste of iguana flesh, let them eat all the invasive iguanas, and then trained the gators to crave monkey flesh?