A word of advice, should you decide to move to the San Antonio area to pursue a life of crime, it would behoove you to learn where the county line between Bexar County (San Antonio) and Comal County (New Braunfels) is located. In Bexar County, probation is always a possibility for any given offense. In Comal County, overtime parking is good for a ten-year stretch in the Texas Department of Corrections or whatever they are calling themselves this week. This yo-yo, pictured above, is going away for life for having carnal knowledge of a cucumber. New-Braunfels-man-with-history-of-deviant-sex.
I suspect that the sentence is the cumulation of his life’s work involving a variety of vegetables. The current charges and past felony convictions probably put him in the habitual offender category and earned him the life sentence.
Sure hope they don’t put him to work in the kitchen.