I am not handy or at least precision handy around the house. So it would seem odd that one of my favorite TV shows featured “Norm” from “This Old House.” I was a devoted fan, could talk the talk. I got to the point where I felt like I could do the layout and certainly the assembly. I was less than enthusiastic about the prospect of flipping the switch and running stock through various planers, sanders, saws, and routers. Something about sharp objects whirling at high speeds and fingers kept me from taking the next step.

I was with a buddy when he stopped at the local Sears.  While he went about his rat killing, I soon found myself in the power tool section. I was happily building a home workshop. Sears was having a sale. I was debt free. I had a vacant two car garage. This was doable! I was working my way through the power tools; table saw check, 16″ planner check, a router, no two check, drill press check, mitre saw check, a variety of drill bits and router bits check. I was running out of display space, I was down to a half wall and filling in the odd crease and crevice, palm sander, orbital sander and various grits of sandpaper check, clamps, chisels, Japanese handsaw, oh yes!

In the Sears store in Austin, Texas the power tool department and the men’s department share a common wall. This is not obvious until the final ten feet of the barrier is a half wall with tools on one side and men’s wear on the other side. Then I looked up and saw a manikin like the one above crowning the space. At that moment Sears lost a thousand dollar sale.

I know that respect for power tools is healthy and that my fear of missing a finger is unreasonable. I had never considered the alternative announced below. Had I done so, you wouldn’t be able to get me in a Sear’s at gunpoint.

Worker’s PENIS is ‘sawn-off’ in a horrific freak industrial accident

• Police and air ambulance were called to Gloucester village after accident
• Man was rushed to hospital reportedly after reportedly sawing into his penis
• Police say incident not suspicious. Health and Safety Executive to investigate