Talk About A Deadbeat!

Checker Taxi Cab

I drove a taxi when I was in college. You know those movies from the 30’s and the 40’s where Ginger Rodgers, Fred Astaire, William Powell and Myna Loy were always jumping in an out of cabs? All I ever got were the people of Walmart. People were always trying to beat me out of the fare. Which leads me to this guy….

A man died in the backseat of a rideshare vehicle on the University of Maryland campus on Friday morning. According to the local police department, the man died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.


I recall one fare. I was taking this drunk woman two two towns over. It was late at night and cold as hell. I was driving a Checker cab, the vehicle, not the taxi company. For those unfamiliar with the type, a Checker has a backseat that will accommodate about twenty-five people.

At any rate I was driving along. She suddenly opened the window. I looked in the rear view mirror an saw something fly away in the slip stream. She then closed the window. A minute later she asked me to turn on the dome light. I complied. I sensed some movement and looked into the rear view mirror. She hiked up her skirt. The mystery of what she had thrown out the window was solved! Panties. She gave me a drunken leer and asked, as she spread her legs, “will this do for the tip?”

A lesser man may have faltered. An opportunity like this didn’t come around often. I knew what I had to do. I gave the impression of making a detailed inspection and then I responded, “Aw gee lady, ain’t you got anything smaller!”

Some guys just don’t know how to talk to a woman.