Tales From A Shithole

Typically this a police confrontation. This time no cops were involved. Nobody went to jail. Had a cop been involved I would have characterized the event as: “Two assholes got in an argument and one of them went to jail.”

Here’s the story a woman is walking her dog, off leach in Central Park. A bird watcher, who happens to be a black dude, takes exception. He asks her to put a leash on the dog.

This being New York, I’m sure there is a city ordinance about keeping dogs on a leash. Nobody else around, the dog isn’t bothering the bird watcher. It’s the principle of the thing! She refuses. He pushes the issue. They both whip out cell phones. She calls NYPD. He starts recording. Her claim is that the guy threatened her. Silly shit ensues.


Did she make a false report? Nope, she felt threatened. The Queen Bitch routine didn’t work. What’s a girl to do? It is all about how she feels.

Did the guy threaten her? Yeah, but only from the stand point that he stood his ground. Misunderstanding, imperfect perceptions, gross stupidity are not grounds for a false report.

There are no winners here. Both are losers. They were losers when they got up that morning. They will be losers ten years from now.

However, since nobody went to jail how does one break the tie as to who the biggest asshole is? I know, I know, let’s post the video to the Internet. By popular vote the chick is declared the winner of the biggest asshole of the day contest. The grand prize: She was fired from her job.

Say after me, “New York is a wonderful place. It is the center of the universe. Please stay in New York.”