Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One…

This story brings to mind a mountain lion and Texas Ranger story.

Mountain lions are solitary creatures. They establish a range that may encompass hundreds of miles. Some ranges are more conducive to good living that others. Two mountain lions were patrolling their respective ranges out near Big Bend when they ran across one another. They stopped to chat.

One mountain lion was fat and sassy. He was well fed and his coat was glossy. The other was skin and bones and rather mangy. The mangy one pointed out that they each had a range with similar characteristics. He was just barely surviving, while the other was doing well for himself. What was the difference?

The fat and sassy one asked the mangy one what it was that he ate. The mangy one replied whatever he could find, lizards, an occasional mouse and bugs. The fat one pointed out that was the problem. He boasted that he ate nothing but Texas Rangers. The mangy one decided to change his diet. They each went on their way.

About a month later they chanced upon each other. The fat and sassy one was still prosperous looking and the mangy one was still mangy. The fat one said, “I thought you were going to try my special diet.”

The mangy one responded, “I did and it didn’t help.”

“Hmmm,” the fat one said. “Maybe you are not doing it right. Tell me how you do things.”

“Well,” said the mangy lion. “I find a rock that overlooks a trail and I wait.”

“Yeah, I do that,” responded the sassy one.

“When a Texas Ranger come along, I leap from the rock onto the Texas Ranger.”

“Yup, that’s how you do it,” said the fat one. “You must be leaving something out.”

“Well,” said the fat one, “just before I leap I let out a tremendous roar.”

“That’s it!” said the fat lion. “The roar scares the shit outta them. Then all you are left with are boots and a hat.”