Sex and Firearms

At first glance, one would be tempted to say, “How unusual.” If only it were true. One drunken night forty years ago, a paramedic buddy and I had an epiphany of sorts. We were stumbling down the street surrounded by college students. One of us made the observation: “All of these students have seen so little, but think they know it all!” The other completed the thought, “Experience has showed us so much, but we know we haven’t scratched the surface.” Then the eternal question came, “Did we sneer at the students for their naivety or because we lost ours?”

The story gets a little confusing. Apparently the husband was using an M-1 as a sex aid. The writer does not specify and is likely unaware that M-1 could refer to a M-1 Carbine, M-1 Garand or a M-1 flamethrower.

Since fire is involved, we’ll go with the flamethrower. In his excitement, it is safe to say he experienced a premature ejaculation and burned the house down.

Why is this newsworthy? Could it be putting octogenarian sex, flamethrowers and burning houses into the same sentence be the hook? I don’t think so. The hook comes in the final two paragraphs.

They shouldn’t face any criminal charges. but may have problems when it comes to claiming their insurance policies, as damage caused by the use of weapons during sex games is rarely covered.
A case involving a Gatling gun in 2004 and another involving a rocket launcher in 2011 have made their way to court, and in both cases the insurance company didn’t have to pay anything to the claimants.

World News Daily

The moral of the story is that implements of war are dangerous deadly weapons. They are also dangerous when used as friendly weapons.