Nomination for a Hero Badge

Young woman says she and her friends were ‘viciously attacked’ for wearing MAGA hats in Texas, but the cops blamed their hats!

Went to a bar, wore a MAGA hat, and got beat up. Duh! What did she expect in Austin. Anybody with any sense knows that Austin, Texas is not part of the United States. It is the People’s Republic of Assholes.

If God ever decides to give Texas an enema, Austin is ground zero. Austin wants to be like Boston or Berkeley. Inherent in the term “to be like” is a secret acknowledgement of an inferiority complex. Austin is superior when it comes to inferior, in Texas.

Austin can’t out cowboy Fort Worth. It can’t hold a fashion candle to Dallas. It lacks that Texas in your face attitude of Houston that comes from big oil money. Austin can’t match the Spanish charm of San Antonio and El Paso. Austin brags about yuppie barbecue, but it isn’t the barbecue that one finds in Elgin, Lockhart, or in shacks along back roads in East Texas.

Defenders of Austin will point to the local music scene. Don’t tell anybody but the local cats couldn’t make it in Nashville, LA or New York. Another case of almost good enough. Austin can’t even hold on to the hookers and politicians, here today gone when the legislative session is over. Austin steers and queers and terminal gridlock. Our pansy guys can beat up a MAGA hat wearing girl.

I just can’t get worked up over this. It is what is supposed to happen in shitholes.