Product Liability Lawsuit On The Horizon?

Jonathan Hernandez failed Burglary 101

Stop me if you’ve heard this one…. A burglar is going about his business. As he is crawling in a window it slams shut. Okay, so? This is a Lee County Florida window. Not only do the residents take exception to being victims of crime but buildings too! The window landed on his neck. His feet were off the ground. Happy ending, he strangled to death.

Cue the family outrage:

Duarte continued to say Hernandez was “the sweetest person you’d probably ever meet and has the biggest heart,” despite her assuming he had a “rap sheet like El Chapo” when she first met him, according to NBC2 News.

Patricia Duarte, fiancé (polite term for shack up)

Notice, not one word from Duarte about Hernandez’s illegal activities.

What is this country coming to? It is bad enough burglars and thieves have to worry about homeowners with guns, big dogs, and security cameras. Now they have to be afraid of the very buildings they violate. Talk about a hostile workplace! I see a potential lawsuit. Just spit balling I can come up with several causes for action.

  • Defective product: Once a window is pried open, it’s supposed to stay open.
  • Maintaining an attractive nuisance: Knowing the window was defective (see above) the homeowner was responsible for fixing the window or posting warning signs.
  • Violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act: Egress to the residence did not accommodate burglars and posed a hazard to people entering in a non-traditional manner.
  • Restraint of trade: By maintaining a hazardous environment the homeowners interfered with the burglar’s ability to go about his trade.

I know just the attorney to handle the case. Meet Terry Meza:

“In most instances the thief needs the money more than the homeowner does,” Meza continued in a statement. “The homeowner’s insurance we reimburse his losses. On balance, the transfer of property is likely to lead to a more equitable distribution of wealth. If my bill can help make this transfer a peaceful one so much the better.”

I can understand Duarte’s sentiments. Who is going to steal stuff for her now that Hernandez is gone? On the brighter side all of her illegitimate kids may now qualify for Social Security death benefits.