I have been accused of picking on traffic cops, in the past.  Some people have noted that I don’t consider them among the best and brightest in law enforcement. I’ll   offer two stories to support my contention.  OJ Simpson Weapon Found?

Four years after the murders, in 1998, the house where OJ Simpson lived at the time of the murders was torn down.  A workman found the knife and gave it to an off duty cop, who was assigned to the traffic division. The story is unclear as to the circumstances, two come to mind (1)the cop was working a “paid detail” or extra job in support of the demolition efforts or (2) the construction worker and the cop were buddies.  At any rate the knife was never turned in as potential evidence.

To add insult to injury, the traffic cop contacts a homicide detective and tells him about the find long after the fact. He announces his plans to commemorate the single most embarrassing incident to befall LAPD Homicide by having the possible murder weapon mounted.  Yeah, that went over well.

Second story, the department I worked for had a guy that just loved to write tickets.  He could write more in a month than the rest of the department combined.  Hundreds of traffic contacts a month and no arrests, no traffic warrants, no stolen cars, no guns, and no dope.  The odds of that happening are astronomical but he did it month after month.

He was called into the Lieutenant’s office at the beginning of shift and when he finally made it out to the field was down in the mouth.  No, he was righteously indignant.  It seems he had been complained on by an 09 matron driving a Mercedes Benz.

She readily admitted that she was guilty of the violation charged. In fact she waved the receipt from the court, showing that she had paid the fine, at the Lieutenant.  She stated that the officer was not discourteous and gave clear concise directions.

Her complaint was that during the contact, in mid-conversation while standing at the window, he stopped and proceeded to drive his finger up his nostril.  He went so deep she was afraid  he would hurt himself.  After rooting around for what seemed minutes he pulled out a sizable booger.  He took a moment to inspect it, rotating his finger to get a complete view. He then gave his finger a flick, it took two to dislodge the booger. According to the matron, the booger was last seen heading for the hood of her car. He then completed his spiel and handed her the ticket book and pen so that she could sign for the ticket.  She seemed to feel that the officer’s actions were inconsistent with etiquette and that he might benefit from some counseling.

I got both the Lieutenant’s and the officer’s versions of the story right from the sources and find that they jive in all respects.  The patrolman had the last word saying,”I told the Lieutenant it’s my nose and I’ll pick it when I want to!”.  I agreed with him, sometimes you just gotta take a stand.