Ineffective Defense

Vampire killing kit, doubles as a werewolf killing kit

ALEXANDRIA, VA—As the trial begins for the killing inside an Old Town Alexandria business last July, defense lawyers for Pankaj Bhasin are pointing to mental illness as a factor in the killing. Even further, they claim the defendant thought Bradford Jackson was a werewolf when he killed him inside the Window Universe Store on King Street.

I’m hollering bullshit on this defense. The defendant stabbed the victim repeatedly with a box cutter. Everybody knows you can’t kill a werewolf with a box cutter. If the defendant truly believed he was up against a werewolf then he would have been equipped to kill a werewolf.

How to kill a werewolf – methods and materials


How to kill a werewolf

1.  Silver. You’ll see this in almost any movie that you watch about werewolves – werewolf hunters are always in need of the “silver bullet” to kill the werewolf, claiming that that is the only thing that will kill it. Sometimes a silver blade is used.  This method is used often in hollywood movies and werewolf fiction, and often anything that is pure silver will work. Piercing the heart is the preferred method. (Note: Some say that silver is just a concoction of fiction and hollywood, and that silver cannot really kill a werewolf.  True or no? I don’t know.)

2.  Mercury. Mercury is considered almost as good as silver at killing werewolves….in fact mercury has long been known as “quicksilver”.

2.  Removal of heart or head. This is the traditional way to kill a werewolf, as told by legends. Any method that completely destroys the heart or brain will kill the werewolf. They say decapitation is the most effective way.

3.  Other werewolves. In some horror fiction, werewolves can be killed  by other werewolves.

4.  Human Form. Some legends say if you kill the werewolf while it is in its human form, this is an effective way to kill the werewolf.

Wolfsbane -Repel a werewolf: This is not really a way to kill a werewolf, but they say to repel a werewolf, you can use wolfsbane. (which also incidentally is said to repel vampires). (Wolfsbane is an herb.)