Home Stand


This is a cultural thing that I don’t expect to catch on here in the United States. Asiapacific/thai-penis-whitening-fad-drives-social-media-nuts. 

It isn’t unusual for cops on late night patrol to walk up on a couple in a car making the beast with two backs or some variation thereof. Th first concern is that everybody is a willing participant and legally able to participate. As a general rule, as soon as the flashlight goes on the guy is dressed. It is almost impossible to talk to the guy so I would address my comments to the female,”Is everybody here because they want to be?”

I stopped using this line because I got conflicting signals. The female partner was okay with the sex, but the backseat of a ten year old car didn’t make anybody’s top ten list.

At the same time one had to be alert for the possibilities. There was a bar in Alamo Heights called the 50-50. On the nights the Spurs had an early game at home it wasn’t unusual to have the coach and a couple of players stop by after the game.

I was checking a neighboring parking lot and saw movement in a Mercedez Benz. So I jumped out to make sure car burglars were busy removing the radio. Nope, just you basic first string Spur getting a head job courtesey of the local criminal defense bar. I could have said, “Excuse me,” or “Is everything alright?” ( Of course it isn’t I just interupted a blow job in progress). But I knew my duty, there was only one line appropriate for the time and place, “Goddamn! Do they make that in white?” The blonde laughted, waved and never missed a stroke. I got the hell outta there. I’ll tell the story on myself but wasn’t interested in having it recounted to me second hand by the Chief of Police.

Still can’t understand why anybody would want a dick like an Irishman.