Classic Case, This Guy Doesn’t Have a Leg to Stand On

Unclear on the Concept

New Orleans-area woman, who beat up her ex-boyfriend with his own prosthetic leg earlier this year because he tried to break up with her, was arrested last Wednesday, police said.

On Feb. 11, Michelle Jackson, 58, was drinking with her now ex-boyfriend when he told her he wanted to see someone else, Capt. Jason Rivarde said. The man went to sleep without incident but awoke the next morning with an injured hand and a large cut on his head that was dripping blood, The Times-Picayune reported.

Over the years there are some rules I have learned about dating and relationships. It is obvious that the guy in this story has learned a lesson the hard way. I would have thought it was obvious, but I guess not. Add it to the list.

Situations to Avoid When Ending A Relationship

  • Do not break up with her after sex. It is hard to beat a dignified retreat running bare assed out the door while carrying your clothes.
  • Do not invite her to your place to give her the bad news. Why have your shit all torn up?
  • Avoid hot food and drink, you are liable to be wearing it. Flaming deserts and drinks are definitely out.
  • Never, ever, break up in the middle of a blow job!
  • Mobility could be key to your future survival. Prior to breaking up do not take off your prosthetic device. “Feets do your stuff!” isn’t just a saying.