This is an election where anything goes, there is no lower limit that has proven to be unacceptable. Madonna-oral-sex-hillary-clinton-amy-schumer/. Madonna has promised a blow job in exchange for a vote for Hillary. Disregard, for the moment, thoughts of where that mouth has been. “The Wrap” provides the applicable Federal Statute and then pooh poohs the idea that since Madonna doesn’t put a price on her services, there is no value.

That reminds me of the young Priest doing his first stint in the Confessional. The Monsignor gets him settled in and tells him if he needs any help the Monsignor will be in the next Confessional down. The young Priest goes about his duties and doesn’t have any problems until a 76 year old prostitute arrives and offers her confession.  The young Priest is stumped as to an appropriate Penance, tells her to wait and goes to find the Monsignor.

He begins his conference by asking, “Father what do you give a 76 year old prostitute?”

The Monsignor thought about it a moment and said,”Buck, buck and a half.”

Value is not only the price a seller puts on an item but also what the buyer is willing to pay.

We investigated the activities of a major methamphetamine dealer. We had purchased several pounds of speed from him and subsequently seized in excess of half a million dollars from him. We also seized a great deal of paperwork related to expenses.  Best we could tell, this guy, in his mid thirties, had never held a legitimate job and thus had no legitimate income.

However, he had enough income to buy his wife and two girl friends brand new, high end, store bought tits. We had the receipts to prove it.  His only income was from the proceeds of drug deals, that made all of his income contraband. Anything purchased with contraband money, in turn became contraband. Wanting to see how far the string would stretch the AUSA handling the case was presented with a seizure warrant for a pair of store bought tits (complete with serial number), belonging to one of the girlfriends. That affidavit made the rounds with each successive reader adding their comments as to next steps, trial tactics and expert witnesses.  The consensus was while the law might allow such a seizure there were just some things that the United States Attorney was not willing to do.

So the test comes to not what Madonna would charge but what would the legalistic “Reasonable man” be willing to pay for a Madonna blow job.

Buck, buck and a half.