Brass Balls Award

Brass Balls Award for Most Creative Appeal

A prisoner in Iowa has caused me to create a new category. The Brass Balls award. It seems lately I spend all my time decrying the lack of balls on the part of various folks. It is with mixed feelings that I recognize a shithead for conspicuous display of Brass Balls.

So even though this guy is a murderous turd, I’ve got to hand it to him. I heard you coming because those balls clang when you walk.

Here’s the deal. This guy is doing life without the possibility of parole. He develops kidney stones and is taken to the hospital. He slips into a coma. He has a “do not resuscitate” order in place. The doctors contact his brother. His brother confirms the do not resuscitate order.

The doctors begin treatment and the guy crashes and burns. He is a shithead. The rules say that shitheads will survive, where anybody else would die. The doctors resuscitate him and save his life.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

The shithead has now filed an appeal. He claims that since he died and was resuscitated, he has fulfilled the terms of his sentence. After-all, his sentence insured that he would die in prison. He did that. Now he should be free.

The Iowa appellate court was not impressed. They want to see a death certificate. He doesn’t have one. But wait, there’s more!

There is a second part. He also alleges that hospital ignored his “do not resuscitate” order. Had the doctors honored his wishes, then he would be dead. Resuscitating him has subjected him to continued imprisonment. That is a violation of his “due process rights.”

The appellate court let that one by. They ruled that that claim was not an appellate issue and would have to be taken up by a trial court.

I have no sympathy for this guy’s stance. He is gaming the system and raising hell simply because he can. I have no sympathy for the system because they allow it.

I think that there is no need to have locks on the cells of prisoners serving life sentences. Nope, put em in the cell and weld the door shut. There is no need to open the door and let the inmate out. Don’t care about his mental health. Don’t care about his socialization or education because he is never getting out. Food, medicine, soap, clothing and reading material can all be passed through the hatch in the door. The inmate has already demonstrated that he/she is unfit to live in the free world. Why go through the charade of rehabilitation?

Visiting day? That’s why we have Facebook and video. There isn’t anything that says a life sentence is a set time. Two weeks, two years or twenty years its all the same, as long as the inmate goes out of the institution feet first.