An Alternative to The Tower of London?

Used to be the sun never set on the British Empire. Piss the Queen off and there was no telling where one might wind up. Unfortunately a variety of third world shitholes are no longer beholden to the Queen. The Tower of London is a tourist draw. What’s an irate Queen to do?

Prince Andrew

Princess Andrew is in deep shit for boffing fifteen-year-old hookers and hanging with Jeffrey Epstein. The Queen has kicked him out of Buckingham Palace and demanded that he give up his patronage of various charities. She also took away his allowance.

This all sounds dire, if you have no knowledge of history. The Monarchy has experienced missteps within the family before. The Duke of Windsor, the future King Edward the VIII, gave up his crown in 1936. This, so that he could marry American divorcee Wallis Simpson.

Just in case he hadn’t pissed enough people off, the Duke also thought Adolph Hitler was a pretty good guy.

Wallis Simpson (left), next to the Duke of Windsor and Adolph Hitler 1937

Here we have Prince Andrew with Jeffrey Epstein. They also hung out together and had sleep overs. Jeffrey isn’t in the same league with Hitler, but he’ll do.

Prince Andrew and Jeffrey Epstein

There is an opportunity for history to repeat itself. Churchill wanted the Duke of Windsor away from wartime Britain. Churchill made him Governor of Bermuda and shipped his ass to the island.

With the passing of Jeffrey Epstein there is a sudden vacancy at another Caribbean Island. Okay it isn’t a Crown colony, In fact it is United States territory. No problem Prince Andrew can open up a consulate. I can see it now.

This could work. I wonder if the Queen has thought of this?