No Rational People Involved

I’m sorry but I can’t take either side of this debate seriously. Violating a dog’s rights? But, but, but a dog shit on the lawn.

How come dog shit has become a problem? Dogs have been domesticated for approximately 15,000 years. It would be safe to say that dogs crapping around people has been with man at least that long. It has only been in the last twenty years or so that dog crap has assumed the status of being a problem. What changed?

I blame running water, mass transit, automobiles, suburbia, microwaves, dishwashers, washer dryers and the demise of the laundromat. One can add, TV dinners, fast food, and frozen vegetables.

The role of the dog has changed with the adoption of these modern conveniences. Dogs went from being members of the household, to members of the family. Dogs became companions rather than watchdogs, rat catchers or herding animals.

The humans in the household no longer had to spend hours each day cooking, cleaning, or traveling to and from work. Both groups suddenly had a surplus of spare time. Dogs no longer roamed the property but laid up in the house watching soaps. They weren’t able to crap when and where they chose. Suddenly each bowel movement had an audience. A function that was unremarkable became the object of praise and accolades.

Does a dog crap in the woods? Humans developed a ritual surrounding the question. Dogs eager to please went along with it. Pretty soon a cottage industry sprung up. People couldn’t just let dogs crap where they may. There had to be rules. Politicians, homeowners associations and property managers got in on the action. Here was another level of control. Entrepreneurs got in on the act. If people were made to pick up dog crap then they had to have the means to do so. The pooper scooper, disposable bags, and paid disposal service were invented. Now we have doggie DNA analysis and databases.

Sounds like a load of crap, to me.

Or in this case DOGSHIT