Buffed Balls and Waxed Ass, Ready to Govern

A blogger has discovered as a teenager Beto was a member of a computer hacker group. He posted on the Internet as the “Psychedelic Warlord.” He wrote poetry, incredibly bad poetry but poetry none the less. Hey bad taste, minor perversions and rebellion are all part of growing up.

The ramblings of a pubescent democrat overlord shouldn’t be held against him twenty years later. I think that they may give insight as to the path taken to form the current incarnation but shouldn’t be the end point.

I think it is important to analyse the content of the poem posted below. It may be possible to predict likely campaign slogans and promises from the future candidate. Here is the poem.

The first hurdle I see is a potential conflict between Beto and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. They seem to be diametrically opposed when it comes to cattle. This may be explained by the proximity of a huge feed lot operation west of El Paso.

Potential Beto Slogans based on his poetry

• Beto waxed and ready to go!
• Beto: Buffed balls in every pair of jeans!
• Oxen dung and Beto: No Place but Austin
• Analyse This
• Scrubbed balls, waxed ass, love me

I am still working on his short story about running over kids with his car. Given Beto’s history of drunk driving this may take some effort. Like they say accentuate the positive. I have a great slogan for AOC.