Babe, This!

Feral Hogs

We are less than a month into a new Presidential term, and it has become increasingly obvious that the left is going to be as confrontational as possible. You can forget that hackneyed term “civil disobedience” there is nothing polite about these confrontations. As violent and unruly as they have been, it is not violent enough, never enough in some quarters. 

Most police agencies have shown themselves to be up to the task of keeping order. A few San Jose and the Berkeley police department didn’t cover themselves with glory. These poor excuses for law enforcement agencies allowed the rioters to run rampant.

As a knowledgeable but retired police professional, I take an interest in the latest and greatest tactics, equipment and techniques to handle any given law enforcement situation. Sometimes good ideas are cast by the wayside because of cost, technology isn’t quite there, or weight and size limitations.

The best crowd control tool that never was is a McCollough Mini Mac Chain Saw, suggested for use in riot control by my friend, Calvin. Typically in a police action, the protestors are told to disperse. When there appears that resistance is imminent, the police form a line and begin advancing on the protesters. Obviously, this is a confrontation, but aside from a few rocks or bottles being thrown, there is no contact between either group. Contact begins at arm’s length. With a rev of that two-stroke engine on every other step, there is virtually no chance that an opposing force will stand its ground. What happens is the opposing force surrenders the field without a physical confrontation.

In recognition of the fact that Mini Mac is no longer manufactured and law enforcement has evolved, I have re-examined the old deployment strategy and believe that I can add to it a new and improved version that officers not only public safety benefits but conservation, and public health benefits. Not only does the new strategy allow the police limit to the level of confrontation but also have a tool for area denial. Currently, area denial is accomplished by barricades, fence and physical presence of uniformed officers. This new regime uses psychological means to deny areas of approach, ingress or egress to the opponent.

I give you the Feral Hog

Could be mud, could be pig shit

Many areas of the United States are overrun with feral hogs. They are intelligent animals but lacking somewhat in grooming standards. The range in size from a few pounds to 1000 pounds and they travel in packs.

I propose to trap feral hogs and transport them to New York and other east coast cities for riot duty. There are several advantages to this proposal. Those areas of the country inundated with feral hogs get some relief. As another in the service animal armory, it is unlikely that anybody can stand against a thundering herd of wild hogs just released from a gooseneck trailer.

Yuppies and Muslims are likely not going to be interested in a space covered in pig shit – area denial. Another upside is there is no need, in an urban setting, to round the animals up, they just become part of the urban ecology. The homeless end up with a source for the other white meat-PORK.