I found out the other day that according to the World Health Organization I am disabled http://poracponders.com/in-the-news/you-cant-make-this-shit-up/this-ought-to-kill-social-security/ Yup, according to WHO since I haven’t been laid in the past year, hell this millennium I am disabled.
I have decided to embark on a self improvement program. I have quit smoking (mostly). I have resolved to exercise and got a bicycle for that purpose. Haven’t ridden it yet, but one step at a time. I have been paying attention to the current dating climate. I now realize that a Brazilian is more than a short swarthy guy that speaks Portuguese and smokes stinky little cigars. I came across this article and it left me with all sorts of unanswered questions.
HOLLYWOOD’S NEW MALE COSMETIC SURGERY TREND: SCROTOX (YES, REALLY)
This growing trend — which makes testicles appear larger and decreases sweating and wrinkling in the area — costs between $1,500-$3,000.
Here are just a few that occurred to me:
- Do you get the injections first and then shave? It seems like smooth balls might be more conducive to a closer shave. On the other hand the male equivalent to a Brazilian ensures that the Doctor isn’t just stabbing around in the undergrowth hoping to hit the right spot.
- How does one work ones newly coiffed balls into a conversation. Is this done during the initial contact, listed as a hobby? Is a picture in an Internet profile appropriate?
- If not in the initial contact is it appropriate on a first date? I’m leaning this way because I figure the chances of a second date is nil.
- I thought about maybe trying one of those sugar daddy sites. I got the daddy down, but not the sugar. I don’t think it is for me; between the sugar daddy fee $3000, Scrotox $3,000, Brazilian $300, Muti-dose pack of Viagra $100, dinner and drinks, well the last time I spent that much I bought her a house.
Maybe because it is an identified WHO crisis I just wait for the new PIECE Corp. I’m of an age that I could get my meals and home health assistance delivered to me. Medicare will pay for hearing aids, leg braces, why not hard body physical therapy? Know anybody that needs a community service gig to complete probation, send a picture may be we’ll talk.