AP September 7, 2015, 9:16 AM
Canadian candidate sorry for peeing in coffee cup

Canadian Conservative Party politician Jerry Bance.

Last Updated Sep 7, 2015 11:37 AM EDT

TORONTO — A Toronto businessman who had been running for Parliament with Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s party made the wrong kind of splash and is out of the race after being caught on video urinating in a coffee cup.

The tinkling tale of Jerry Bance, who had been filmed while working as an appliance repairman, caps a bad week for Harper. The prime minister now faces re-election as Canada has entered a recession.

The Canadian Broadcast Corp. used hidden cameras in 2012 to record Bance peeing into the cup and pouring it down the sink while on a service call. The homeowner was in the next room. Bance runs an appliance repair company, and the CBC was reporting on home repair companies.

Bance had been running in a Toronto district in the Oct. 19 election, but a Conservative party spokesman said Monday “Mr. Bance is no longer a candidate.”

Bance said in a statement he “deeply regrets” the incident and it doesn’t reflect who he is as person or professional.

AP with the connivence of the Canadian Broadcasting Corp climbed into Mr. Peabody’s “way back machine” to bring this story to the forefront.  Mr. Bance who is running for office in 2015 was caught on tape in 2012 peeing into a coffee cup at a customer’s home.  Mr. Bance owns an appliance repair company and presumably was involved in a service call.  There is no indication that he was a candidate for office at the time.  Bance when confronted about the incident dropped out of the race.

My first reaction is “that’s it? that’s the best you can do?” A politician peeing in a coffee cup and a dog peeing on a lamp post are not being vindictive or retaliatory, that is just what they do.  Higher ranking, if not higher classed politicians have left a variety of bodily fluids in less discrete places.  The problem is that conservatives are easily shamed.

Imagine that it was Hillary Clinton caught in the same situation.  I know that’s not possible she hasn’t done anything resembling housework or home repair since before Bill gained the White House.  That is why I prefaced the paragraph with “imagine” the willing suspension of disbelief.  So there we are, Hillary pant suit at half staff and coffee cup raised high on its way to the kitchen sink. The intrepid CBC film crew rushes out for the “gotcha moment.”  Why did you pee in that coffee cup (again we are imagining that the press would ask an embarrassing question).  I see the conversation going like this.

Hillary, “I did not pee in the coffee cup.”

Hillary, (fall back) “If I did pee in that coffee cup it is because all of my time is devoted to serving the public and I have no personal time.”

Hillary,  ” It’s not pee, it’s Kool Aide, have some.” At this point the press indulges and decides there is no story.

Hillary, to the recalcitrant few, “Who you gonna believe, me or your lying fucking eyes?”

The reader is probably wondering what a broke down old narc knows about politics to be able to comment on this story.  This story contains two components politics and pee.  I know about pee.  Reflect on every detective or police show involving surveillance you have ever seen.  Either everybody is swilling coffee or every horizontal surface is littered with empty cups. On TV and movies surveillances last a maximum five minutes.  In reality, surveillances go on for hours, and sometimes days.  What goes in must come out and bathrooms can be few and far between.  If you ride with active or retired cops I’ll give you a word of warning, “BEWARE THE BIG MOUTH BOTTLES!” There is a reason I only drink blue sports drinks, from clear bottles.