On Second Thought

Those of you that are familiar with the blog know how I feel about telemarketers or phone solicitors of any stripe. One could get the impression that I consider them the lowest form of life. I was wrong. People who practice telephone harassment for a living, certainly deserve a place in Dante’s lower regions of hell. But lowest is a step too far. Don’t get me wrong they are a lower life form, but they stand on the shoulders of others. That may be the only redeeming characteristic of telemarketers. No matter how low one may be, telemarketers a step below.

Context is everything. A joke I first heard over fifty years ago came to mind. Back then it was naughty and cutting edge humor. It had gross out, minor profanity and nudity. What more could a ten-year-old ask for? Here it goes.

Benny the Boilsucker made his living lancing boils and then sucking the pus out of them, (gross out). One day he was sucking boils on a fat lady’s ass, (more gross out, partial nudity, profanity). While Bennie was engaged in his duties, the fat lady let loose with a fart. Benny rose up from between her cheeks and exclaimed, “Ah gee, lady, what are you trying to do, gross me out!” Trust me this was a hit in the school yard.

Now, the story of Benny represents the one-upmanship games currently being played. “you’re a racist, well you’re more racist for pointing out that I am racist. Besides you’re sexist and a white supremist.” How low can you go?

I grew up in the Northeast. Ethnic jokes almost always involved Polacks. Mexicans hadn’t been invented yet, north of the Mason Dixon line. Imagine my surprise once I moved to Texas. Not only were Mexicans taking low paying jobs once reserved for Polacks, they were stealing their jokes.

A general contractor and a landscape foreman were looking out over a work in progress. Periodically the landscaper would breakaway from the conversation, peer around a corner and yell, “Green side up.” He would then return to the conversation. This happened three times before the general contractor questioned the landscape foreman. His explanation was simple, “I got a bunch of ______________ laying sod. You gotta remind them periodically or they forget which side is up. The laborers varied depending upon geography.

What does all this have to do with telemarketers. Mexican, Polack, democrat, liberal, or transwhatever they all want to use the Benny the Boilsucker defense to fall back upon. “I know what I am, but it could be worse. I could be a telemarketer!”