Advice for the Lovelorn, PORAC Style

Things have been a little slow around here. So, I have been looking for other topics to pursue. I saw this and figured why not. Advice to the lovelorn. How hard can it be? I handled domestic disturbances, barroom brawls and civil disputes for almost fifteen years. I even performed a few marriages and divorces…. “Just put your hand on my badge and say after me.”

I can do this! I figured this was a good first shot.

In The Know Fri, February 19, 2021, 9:00 AM

Group Chat is In The Know’s advice column, where our editors respond to your questions about dating, friendships, family, social media, wellness, shopping, beauty and beyond. Have a question for the chat? Submit it here anonymously and we’ll do our best to reply.

Hey, Group Chat,

I recently started seeing a new person and everything was going great until I found out our astrological signs are not compatible. Should I get out now to avoid heartbreak down the road, or stick around and see where things go?

Sincerely, Star Crossed

Dear Star Crossed

My advice is directed mainly at your new boyfriend. RUN! As far and as fast as you can! Your new girlfriend is crazier than a shit house rat. It is never going to get any better. Forget about the nice rack. It doesn’t matter how cute she looks getting on and off. This chick has a ready made exit strategy and she is laying the ground work even as we speak. Nothing you do, will ever be right. Nothing she does will ever be wrong.

Strike now. Turn her words back at her and bail. Use her excuse. “Darling it can never be, the stars are all wrong.” Trust me on this.

A rule without exception!