You Can’t Make This Shit Up

New Jersey may expand infertility coverage to lesbians

New Jersey may be expanding infertility coverage to lesbians following a federal lawsuit brought by a same-sex couple.

I think I can explain this in terms that they will understand in New Jersey. If you are a lesbian in a lesbian relationship, it doesn’t matter how cute your partner gets on and off during sex.  In order to get pregnant you gotta have a GUY with motile sperm.

This is not a medical problem, it is not a societal problem.  This is two individuals who have made a choice and now have to live with that choice.  I don’t see this as an issue for the courts or the insurance company. It’s not like they didn’t know going in that pregnancy was impossible without the intercession of a third party.

If a lesbian couple wants to conceive, it doesn’t have to be a medical procedure. All they need is Friday night, booze, maybe a little dancing … you know they way the rest of us got here.

Using their logic I have a case.  I am sixty-three years old. I’m fat. I don’t want to see anybody else of my generation naked. I’ve looked in the mirror.  On any given day I’m never sure whether my dick is going to work. I’ve got a bad attitude, not interested in any current singers, actors or the Kardashians. The whales are on their own.  So chances are we have nothing to talk about. Come to that, a deaf mute might work but it’s not a deal breaker. I want a hard body no older than twenty-five, with a bald beaver and a can do spirit.  I estimate it’ll take at least $1500 to get me laid.  I am on a fixed income, can’t afford that.  You don’t see me going around suing people, do you?

“Go Fund Me”, yeah that’s the ticket, it’s for a good cause.