Workplace Violence

Another example of a dysfunctional federal agency. This is some serious shit! A guy’s career is on the line. Somebody took the time to log each occurrence, date and time. No word if tone, timbre, stink factor or hang time was noted. Our federal government at work. The counseling letter has since been revoked.

You know what comes next…..

I guess I was born too soon. Farting in my workplace was the basis for a competition rather than composition of a memo. Imagine if you will….

San Antonio, Texas, mid August, 2 pm, a grocery store parking lot. Eight cops crammed into a blacked out van in full raid gear. No air conditioning. The windows are rolled up. The Undercover officer is sitting in his car in air conditioned splendor, drinking a cold beer. The crook the UC is waiting for is traveling on doper time. The crook is twenty minutes late, maybe he’ll show. The UC can afford to be optimistic, after all he has air conditioning and cold beer.

The raid team waits. One member tries to squeeze out a silent but deadly fart. Must be a new guy. His squeeker is answered almost immediately and accompanied by an announcement, “Oh yeah, try this!” What follows is reminiscent of an artillery duel with shots coming from all directions. No body can move, the windows remain closed, the air conditioning remains off. Now you know why narcs aren’t known for nurturing.

Same context, different scenario. Eight narcs, two K-9 handlers, a technician to monitor the surveillance equipment all crammed into a motel room. The UC is in another room, he has the beer. The crooks are still on doper time. The room the bust team is hiding in is supposed to be vacant. No lights, no TV. It begins. The space may be larger but the barrage is no less intense.

Scientists say that dogs have an ability to tune in to human actions and respond. I don’t know whether it was the dogs or their handlers that put things over the top. But I swear there was a haze hovering near the ceiling. At least we never set anything on fire.

I wouldn’t trade that jump out van for a more genteel office environment.