Silly Shit

The claim is that a female cartoon character was sexually assaulted by two male cartoon characters. This happened via the Internet. Somehow, contrary to law and common sense, this equates to an actual sexual assault to liberals.

I don’t know what it is, but it isn’t assault sexual or otherwise. An assault requires a threat or actual physical contact that is immediate and real. Looking somebody in the eye and threatening to whip their ass constitutes an assault. Threatening to deliver the ass whooping a week from Tuesday is not. Beating on the hood of a parked car and uttering threats may constitute an assault. Jumping on the hood of a speeding vehicle while uttering threats probably doesn’t make it.

The key is the actor’s ability to deliver on the threat. It isn’t necessary that the actor can successfully carry out the threat. (See screwing with Mike Tyson on an airplane.)

Forty years ago, I took a report from a coed. She claimed that she had been coerced into having sex with a guy. The guy threatened to kill her bunny rabbit if she didn’t put out. If he had threatened her with bodily injury or death, then her complaint would have been valid. The District Attorney ruled that threats to her bunny didn’t meet the threshold for a criminal charge.

Taking an eraser to Homer does not constitute attempted murder.