Deny, Deny, Deny; not my dope. Don’t know how it got there. I’m innocent. Denial doesn’t have to be believable, just consistent.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/drug-haul-stored-in-mans-rectum-578213

According to the Smokinggun:
Alex Boulet, 29, is facing felony drug charges stemming from a May 4 traffic stop in Rockingham…investigators secured a warrant to search Boulet–via X-ray or other non-intrusive medical procedures…Boulet subsequently passed a plastic bag containing several other bags that contained a total of 84 crack rocks “all packaged individually…He then passed two plastic bags containing a total of 218 Oxycodone pills…he “passed his fourth bag of contraband… The final bag–covered like the others in unpleasantness–contained 11.5 grams of marijuana.

In discussing the quality of dope, users use an umbrella term, “Man that’s good shit!” In this case, that statement reflects the truth. This guy is not likely to succeed using the classic, “They’re not my pants defense.”

I could be wrong but there seems to be more going on than the classic “kiester stash.” This bring to mind a joke and a lament from one of Joseph Wambaugh’s cop characters. First the joke.

For two years in a row a hunter is attacked by a bear. Each time the bear rapes him anally. When he shows up the third year the bear attacks him again and says, “This isn’t about hunting anymore is it?”

One of Wambaugh’s cop characters used to worry about being sent to prison. He feared that upon release one could drive a city bus up his ass and never touch the sides.

There is a lesson to be learned here that will be lost in the laughter. This guy has demonstrated a level of commitment to his cause (dope dealing). What have you done to demonstrate your commitment. No, this doesn’t require a bottle of bourbon and Vaseline.