Cops, Doctors, Nurses, and Paramedics all share common traits. According to the Nurses and Paramedics it is hard to tell who is the biggest insufferable prick, when found in their natural habitat, doctors or cops. That is not to say Nurses and paramedics don’t have their moments. One Doctor I knew, worked his way through medical school as a police officer. He agrees with the Nurses’ assessment.
I worked in a community where the doctors, nurses, paramedics and cops were a relatively small community. The police ran on all EMS calls and it wasn’t unusual for a cop to be coopted in a medical emergency. We would assist with CPR, be a portable light tower and IV stand, and lift and tote when the patient approached the proportions of a VW Bug. Early on I decided that in most things I would give doctors, nurses and paramedics a bye as long as the offense didn’t involve murder or treason. Partly this was due to the working relationship and partly it was selfish. I didn’t want to discuss the relative merits of a particular traffic citation while looking up at a medico I had cited. Dressing changes don’t have to hurt, but they can.
This policy seemed to work well. There was one OBY/GYN DOC that couldn’t drive worth a shit. Of course he was the guy that was always speeding to the hospital for a medical emergency. Our policy prohibits us from escorting a vehicle, it also prohibits us from giving rides in such situations. On top of that a police officer has no authority to make an individual park their car and accept a ride.
I have had a lot of dogs. They all liked to ride in the car. All you had to do was shake the keys and say “go for a ride” and they were onboard. Compared to this Doctor, those dogs were pikers. He would be out of his car and trotting to the patrol car before the offer could be fully voiced. At least he didn’t whine and bark because the pinging of the strobes hurt his ears. He was so happy to be in a police car with emergency lights operating he never noticed that we proceeded to the hospital at the speed limit.
I once chased a speeder to the emergency room. He claimed he thought he was having a heart attack. I made sure that he made it into a treatment room. I stood by, all solicitous, while the nurse took vitals, awaiting the arrival of the Doctor. I was standing outside the treatment room when the Doctor came out and started the conversation with, “What is this shit?”
I explained that the guy was attempting to duck a speeding ticket and in fact had done so. The Doctor’s reply was, “he ain’t getting out here for under a $1000 bucks.” You may beat the rap but you can’t beat the ride.
This quid pro quo is a fragile thing. Neither side gets to demand or automatically expect a consideration. As a general rule it is not good form to bust into somebody’s house, in this case the street, make demands of the host (Cop) that you have no right to expect. Hitting them with your car pretty much guarantees you will be turned down.
I wonder, when was the last time, the good doctor’s practice had an inventory of her controlled substances? Maybe its time.