Nomination For A Hero Badge

Undercover Officers Visit Massage Parlor on Three Separate Occasions, Get Off Each Time


Folks don’t understand that being a cop is fraught with hazards. It’s a dirty job but somebody has to do it. I’ll admit the officer, in this story gave his all and then some. 

The story reminds me of the Preacher exhorting his flock to “testify” (report their sins). One old boy got up and admitted to having sex with a goat. To which the Preacher responded:

“I don’t believe I’d have testified to that!”

Here is a story from cracked.com. I will attempt to explain what the officer hoped to achieve.

Let’s back up for a moment. In theory, prostitution is illegal because it’s terrible for young, vulnerable women — underage girls get lured or forced into the business, where they’re usually victimized by the pimps, Johns, or both. They’re often doing it purely to support a drug habit and in general are forced to live at the shitty end of society. Of course, society’s solution to that is to occasionally throw said women in jail (that should fix it, right?). But this is exactly why vice squad cops aren’t allowed to have sex with prostitutes during their investigations (well, other than in Hawaii) — just the offer of sex for money is all it takes to make an arrest. Otherwise you’re, you know, kind of perpetuating somebody’s victimization. But let’s just say that there is apparently quite a bit of gray area in those rules …

In 2005, officer Ron Moore was tasked with the dangerous job of going undercover and exposing vice in the city of Lynnwood, Washington. His job was to infiltrate an establishment of alleged ill repute, the Classic Body Tonic Spa, posing as a customer. He was given $80 of department money and was wished godspeed on what was sure to be an incredibly perilous assignment.

He entered the den of iniquity, his heart racing and hands trembling, we assume. He was told to strip naked in the backroom. He bravely handed an Asian woman, Kim, $60 for a (deadly?) body wash. And then (according to the hilarious affidavit filed with the court and obtained by The Smoking Gun), he maintained his composure while the young Asian woman massaged his asshole 24 times in four minutes (he kept track). She obliviously continued soaping him up and down, until he bravely rolled over and allowed her to fondle his junk. After a thorough dong wash, Moore was offered oral sex.

Sadly, he had only $20 left, just enough for a topless handjob (which he bravely received to completion, while fondling the woman’s breasts). Time for the cops to bust this shit up, right? Wrong. This is why you are not a cop.

No, Moore needed to go deeper. So, he arranged a second trip, just to make sure — and this time he brought another intrepid officer along. This time Moore was assaulted by two naked women at the same time (his allowance had been increased to $200). His partner, Officer Brooks, braved an orgasm from another woman. Boom — they had proven that the previous handjob was not just an isolated incident or a wacky cultural misunderstanding. Time to take down the operation and dispense some justice!

But again, Moore knew that the key to any investigation is patience. Sure, he knew that at least three women that worked there would perform sex acts, but what about the hostess? He couldn’t leave this job without taking it to completion, so during another two-on-one session, he cleverly asked for the older woman who greets people at the door to join in, and she did. Well played, sir! Finally, Officer Moore had enough evidence (and no more money). As a result of all this fine detective work, two of the women were charged with prostitution and the world was made safer for … someone. Probably.

But wait, did they learn their lesson? Is that parlor continuing to offer happy endings to customers willing to pay? Damn it, chief, there is only one way to find out.

But, I Can Explain, Sorta

There is a legal concept called “entrapment” that an undercover officer must overcome. It is considered entrapment if the officer through threats or promises induces a suspect to commit an illegal act, that they otherwise wouldn’t commit. 

In the case of prostitution, it would be entrapment for the officer to suggest a sex act with a promise of payment. It doesn’t matter that the suspect has been arrested numerous times previously for prostitution. The suggestion, by the officer, of payment for sex is entrapment. Seasoned prostitutes know this and what follows is a word game as each tries to reach an understanding. 

Undercover cops often “buy walk” dope. That is purchase a quantity of drugs but not make an arrest. The arrest will take place at a later time and place. It is unusual to buy walk pussy. Once the offer of sex and money is made the offense is complete and no sex act is required. 

Sometimes with a sophisticated operation the undercover officer will make the approach. The acceptance and subsequent act are not subject to prosecution. The theory is that the next time the officer patronizes the prostitute there will no need for verbal jousting. The conversation might go like this:

Prostitute, “What will it be, the usual?
Undercover, “What else is on the menu?” Hopefully the prostitute will then describe other sex acts and the cost. The officer never mentioned sex and therefore entrapment is not an issue. 

That explains the first and second trip. The first trip establishes his bonafides. The second trip allows him to introduce a second undercover. Both are able to make cases based on their association.

It is not unusual for massage parlors to serve as fronts for prostitution. The object of an undercover operation directed at the massage parlor is to implicate the management. Typically, payment of the advertised fee takes place in the reception area. The manager will swear that the fee covers massage services. What takes place in a closed room between the customer and the masseuses is outside her knowledge and control. 

The third trip the undercover made demonstrated that the manager was aware of and an active participant in the activity. This sets the manager up for a felony charge, pandering or human trafficking. Either way the massage parlor will likely be out of business.

Working a prostitution sting is kind of like making sausage. Everybody applauds the results, but they don’t want to know about the process. 

Two stories about undercover and sex. The narcotics task force I worked for loaned an undercover officer to the Sheriff’s office for a massage parlor/prostitution sting. The undercover wore a “wire” that is an undercover transmitter. He obtained his massage and asked for a “happy ending.” The masseuse named a price and there was an exchange of money. This was followed almost immediately by the prostitute exclaiming:

“Oh! you so fast, all done.”

And that is how he got the nickname, “Speedy.”

The second incident involved my first date with my future ex-wife.  The County attorney mounted a commercial obscenity investigation against an  adult bookstore. A steady stream of undercover officers purchased dirty magazines and filthy videos. They watched untold hours of sex acts both in the theater and video booths. There was a place in the bookstore where they were denied entry. That was the “Couples Room.” Not since Ahab went after the whale has an object engendered such dogged attention. The County Attorney was convinced that the Couples Room represented the true heart of depravity in the bookstore and he wanted in.

My future ex-wife was a rookie investigator. She was instructed to find a partner and prepare to go undercover into the couples room. She decided on me. We met up to formulate a plan. She was an attractive cowgirl complete with starched jeans and a stiffly starched oxford shirt.

I pointed out to her that there was a possibility that the couples room was monitored either by peep holes or CCTV. I pointed out various scenarios and proposed contingencies. We would have to act like a horny couple watching dirty movies. This could entail making out. She replied that was okay. I told her there was a possibility that other couples might be present. In order to fit in making out might not be enough. We might have to engage in mutual groping.

Through gritted teeth she replied, “I’ll do what needs to be done.”

Her words were reassuring. It was the wilted Oxford shirt and sweat rings down to her belt line that convinced me she realized what she was getting into.

The final word on the undercover investigation was provided by her boss. He told her, “Don’t let it bother you at all that you might have to testify before the grand jury about how you gave your partner a blow job in order to maintain your undercover status.”

It is unusual, but not unheard of, for undercover officers to engage in a sex act to advance an investigation. It is not up to the individual officer but something sanctioned by command. No officer can be compelled to participate. There are a variety of reasons not to take things to that extreme. It is probably not a recipe for a happy marriage. Given the target population, a wide variety of social diseases are on the table. As the two stories I related illustrate, an officer’s actions on any investigation are subject to examination and cross examination at trial.

To finish my story about my exploits with my future ex-wife we met up in a bar prior to going to the bookstore. She had a shot of whisky in either hand. She didn’t share. Thus fortified we sallied forth to the bookstore, paid our admission and entered the couples room. No wild orgy, we were alone. Some snuggling, no make out session, and no groping. I stuck my tongue in her ear, just to claim bragging rights.