Nomination For a Hero Badge

There is just something about Massholes. To hear them talk they are all about nature. The reality is that other than their kindred souls in the shithole known as New York there probably no populace as ill-equipped to deal with nature. Before I get involved in the story at hand who can forget.

Massachusetts Sheriff’s deputies attacked by enraged beekeeper

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A group of people gathered to protest the impending eviction of a deadbeat. Ho-hum. Then things got lively. An enraged beekeeper showed up. Note the blue vehicle with the trailer carrying beehives in the background. She proceeded to open the hives. What does one say to get bees to attack? Somehow sic em seems inadequate. At any rate several deputies got stung. As a retired narc I participated in a number of “stings,” none of them involving bees. The cops booked her.

I had a roommate, nicknamed Heart Attack, he got arrested. For forty years he held the record for the most notable arrest command. Yeah, I know, “Do you feel lucky, punk? and Make my day” are notable. But that’s Dirty Harry and he’s make believe.

At the time of his arrest Heart Attack was a frat rat. He was leaving a party accompanied by fellow frat rats and sorority sluts. Heart Attack was rather large. There may or may not have been a challenge preceding the event I’m about to recount. At any rate, Heart Attack ripped open his shirt, flexed, walked over to a newly planted ten-foot-tall tree and ripped it out of the ground. He began swinging it around his head and growling. This impressed all of his friends.

It also impressed the off-duty cop who, working security, intervened. He issued a command that made Heart Attack a legend in his own time. Time has passed, but I think I’ve got the quote from the arrest report right. “As the suspect waved the tree over his head, I drew my weapon. I ordered him to drop that tree!” Heart Attack did and docilely went off to the pokey.

I wonder if the guys that got stung will get the police equivalent of a Purple Heart?

Don’t sting me bro!

I predict there will be a line of deputies applying for workmen’s comp. At least one of them will try to work the bee sting into a career ending disability.