I can’t help but notice that numerous dog walkers in my neighborhood greet me by waving.

It could be that I’m being overly sensitive or it might be a residual of the paranoia that cops develop. As they walk by, leash in one hand and bag in the other, they invariably wave. It is usually with a bag of dog shit in hand. I guess that is the friendly thing to do. I can’t help thinking that there is a hidden meaning.

Are they bragging? They have dog shit and I don’t.

Is it a subtle criticism? With their hand and bag held high, are they suggesting I’m lower than dog shit?

How does one respond? Is an empty hand an adequate response? I don’t have a dog. I had thirteen deer in my front yard last night. I suppose I could gather deer poop and keep it handy for just such occasions. Do people clean up after deer? Would deer shit be considered a misrepresentation?

Retirement is tough. Nobody covered things like this. There is no policy manual.