Blow The Man Down

Ghislaine Maxwell gave George Clooney a blow job and bragged about it. You gotta like a chic who takes pride in her work.

I’m torn about this. I’ve had great blow jobs. I’ve also had mediocre blow jobs. But I’ve never had a bad blow job. So I’m not sure how much weight to give her bragging.

I am aware of what constitutes a bad blow job. When I first became a cop I moved into a roommate situation. I have to put this into context. Voicemail, answering machines, call forwarding and cell phones didn’t exist. Should one of the girlfriends call for Vance, the guy who had moved on, there was a list of acceptable responses. There were three girlfriends. and he was servicing all three of them, daily.

The good news is he had lost fifty pounds. The bad news was he had bags under his eyes. He was unable to carry on a coherent conversation, unless it involved sex.

This was back in the 70’s. This meant, in this town, that after midnight you had to go home. Nothing else was open. About 2 am I was on patrol with a pounding headache. I headed to the hospital, in an effort to beg some aspirin from the nurses. I entered through the emergency room entrance and I made my way down the long hall to the nurses station. I got my Tylenol, no aspirin.

As I was leaving the hospital, the door to the emergency treatment room opened and my almost roommate Vance made his way out. He walked like an old man. He was kinda hunched over and cupped his crotch in his hands. With each step he gave out little yips and groans.

I greeted him and given the circumstances inquired as to his health. In a voice filled with woe he began to relate the troubles that he had seen. He had been sorely used by girlfriend number three. He had decided to cut back. Girlfriend number three was the first to go. He delivered the bad news that the relationship was at an end.

Girlfriend number three was not happy with the news. Does the term bulldog worrying a bone mean anything to you? To his chagrin, Vance accomplished his purpose. It only cost him six stitches.

I have been accused of being calloused. But even I know it is not good to break up in the middle of a blow job. I pointed this fact out to Vance. He got a confused expression and blurted out, “But it was only a blow job!”

Blow jobs may be under rated in the course of human events. This could be a mistake. Imagine BJ Bill’s legacy if only Monica was a swallower?

As a swaggering single male a blow job was a just reward and accepted as a matter of course. Once married, I was unable to enjoy a blow job. The event was so infrequent that when it happened, I spent the entire time racking my brain. I was trying to figure out what I had done to deserve it!

If only