Beware of the Jackalope

One Texas County Reports 52 Dead Migrants in 2017

Border Patrol Agents and Brooks County Sheriff's Office Deputies recover the body of an illegal immigrant in Brooks County. (File Photo: Bob Price/Breitbart Texas)
File Photo: Bob Price/Breitbart Texas

Falfurrias, TX379

In 2017, the bodies or remains of 52 illegal aliens were found in one South Texas county. They died while under the supervision of human smugglers attempting to move them around the centrally-located U.S. Border Patrol checkpoint.

“We had 52 people die in our county this year while trying to bypass the Falfurrias Checkpoint,” Brooks County Sheriff Benny Martinez told Breitbart Texas in a phone interview on Wednesday. “They die because these callous human smugglers have no regard for human life. These people are not prepared for all that South Texas has to throw at them, freezing cold, drought, dried up water holes and making a comeback, the Jackalope.

Martinez said the only good thing about this number is that it is less than the previous year. In 2016, 61 illegal immigrants died in Brooks County. This represents a decrease of about 15 percent.

Sheriff Martinez pointed out that the decline in deaths may be misleading. With reports that the jackalope population is on the rise the number of deaths could be much higher. Jacklopes hunt in packs and are remarkably efficient at consuming their prey.

“We have worked very hard this year with our partners to reduce the number of deaths in our county,” Martinez explained. “The U.S. Border Patrol and Texas Department of Public Safety have both increased their presence in the county. The number of rescues in the brush by Border Patrol agents helped keep the number down.

Jackalope adults grow to about 3 feet (1 m) tall, weigh up to 150 pounds (68 kg), and can run at sustained speeds approaching 60 miles per hour (97 km/h).[4]The jackalope is subject to many outlandish claims embedded about its habits. Jackalopes are said to be so dangerous that hunters are advised to wear stovepipes on their legs to keep from being gored.[1] Stores in Douglas sell jackalope milk, but The New York Times questions its authenticity on grounds that milking a jackalope is known to be fraught with risk.[13] One of the ways to catch a jackalope is to entice it with whiskey, the jackalope’s beverage of choice.[20]

The jackalope can imitate the human voice, according to legend. During the days of the Old West, when cowboys gathered by the campfires singing at night, jackalopes could be heard mimicking their voices[5] or singing along, usually as a tenor[13], in a voice that has been described as odd yet not unpleasant. It is said that jackalopes, the rare Lepus antilocapra, only breed during lightning flashes and that their antlers make the act difficult despite the hare’s reputation for fertility.[21]

The rebounding Jackalope population is thought to be the result of an Obama Administration policy change. Obama thought they were cute and instituted a hunting ban on Jackalopes. While the true numbers may never be known, it seems certain that the increase in the jackalope population will result in the death of more aliens.

Coming up EPA White Paper outlining plans to encourage illegal border crossings, in order to feed rising Jackalope population.