The Pennsylvania Grand Jury report on Catholic Priests as sexual abusers has everybody up in arms. Nobody has offered a solution to the problem. Why not rely on technology?

My solution is to issue each priest a sex doll. Even better, would be a stipend, that way each priest can order a doll that strikes his fancy, young, old, male, female and the race of his choice.

Admittedly, the dolls are expensive but there all sorts of funding streams that can be used. Catholics are used to special collections on Sunday. Other methods are BINGO, bake sales, car washes, and pew rentals. Such a program would eliminate conflicts with catholic dogma such as birth control, abortion, adultery, and pedophilia. 

THERE, I fixed it!