It’s funny how things work out. I decided that I wanted a cheeseburger today. Used to be cheeseburger, fries and a drink were a twice a week thing. Duck in to Mickey D’s or Whataburger, out in a minute and chow down in the front seat of the g-ride while watching some ne’re do well. Bluto once led the jump out van containing the raid team, two marked patrol units and a K-9 unit through the drive thru at Mickey D’s while on the way to a search warrant. He was hungry. That’s another story.
This is about today’s cheeseburger or maybe the media of today. I’m old and fat now. I limit my cheeseburger intake to once a month, maybe. Now-a-days a cheese burger is an event. I’m talking Five Guys, Chester’s or Grin’s. I was headed for Chester’s and then I screwed up. I got to thinking. I knew I was screwing up, but I did it anyway.
The local media has been bragging about a local burger chain. To hear them tell it “Burger Boy” made a hamburger that was better than sex. I had my doubts. Afterall, the information came from the MSM, name something they got right lately. You know and I know the MSM are a bunch of lying SOB’s but it is nice to have facts to back that judgment up.
So I went to Burger Boy. The place was shiny new. It was clean. The staff was attentive. The burger was cooked to order and the fries were hot. They tried. But the end result was a mediocre burger that might give Mickey D’s a run for the money. Once again I was right and got a third class burger for my efforts. This might say something about the sex lives of reporters.
I fired up my computer and checked the local news and what do I spy? A story about the Texas Monthly top 50 barbecue joints. Read the list but keep in mind that Texas Monthly is above the MSM. Texas Monthly is what the MSM aspires to, in other words the height of snobbish incompetence, unbothered by facts and secure in the righteousness of their own misguided opinions.
The top 10 barbecue eateries in Texas based on the list are:
- Goldee’s Barbecue in Forth Worth
- InterStellar BBQ in Austin
- Truth Barbeque in Houston
- Burnt Bean Co. Barbecue in Seguin
- Leroy and Lews Barbecue in Austin
- Cattleack Barbeque in Dallas
- Franklin Barbecue in Austin
- Evie Mae’s Pit Barbeque in Wolfforth
- Snow’s BBQ in Lexington
- Panther City BBQ in Fort Worth
I think back to some of the tried and likely untrue maxims of restaurant selection. “Look for where the truck driver’s go, they know….” Yup, they do. They know a place where they can easily park an eighteen wheeler, food not so much. “Look for where the cops go…” The cops are getting a free ride or half price, you are going to pay full price. Ä place named Mom’s is a good bet.”
One final thought. Every occupation has a hierarchy. Some roles are more glamorous than others. Consider medical dramas on TV. Chances are the star is a surgeon or ER doctor. At a stretch the doc might be a general practitioner. Ever seen a medical show where the hero doctor is a proctologist? Think reporters. Shows typically feature hard charging investigative reporters, there are cynical editors and unscrupulous publishers.
Ever see a movie featuring a food critic? You get what you pay for. Do some research. The top three restaurants on the Texas Monthly list are charging as much for a pound of brisket as a top end steakhouse charges for a steak. At these joints customers can stand in line for hours and still not get served. Chances are customers don’t have to stand in line at the steakhouse. They also don’t have to worry about the steakhouse running out steak.
So what makes them so good? I believe it is the ability to say to the uninitiated, “Have you eaten at _________ barbeque? I have, it was wonderful!” That sounds a lot better than, “Ï wasted X hours of my life, on three occasions before I got in to eat overpriced brisket.” Given that level of effort, it is the rare breed that will admit, “The food sucked, I wasted my money and time. I’m an idiot.”
I like barbeque. It’s destination barbeque that I’m down on.
