This story is sort of an adjunct to the lobster story I posted the other day. It is an indication of the “animal rights” mindset gone wild. Under U.S. law animals are things, if they have a higher status it is as property. The argument, in this case, is that two apes in New York deserve the status as persons, not humans, persons. There is a distinction. Do-apes-deserve-personhood-rights-lawyer-heads-n-y-supreme.

One of the hallmarks of personhood is that the being has a sense of self, forms community and has rights and responsibilities within that community. I have arrested ghetto rats that don’t rise to that level. Do we plug the apes above or below them?

Let’s say that this attorney is successful. It would require that a Judge makes a distinction; great apes are not human because of yada, yadda, yada. At the same time, the Judge would have to create criteria for personhood. Great Apes are different from cats and dogs because; this, that, and the other thing.

My understanding is that the personhood supporters are not proposing that we dress the apes in Brooks Brothers suits, give them membership in the Democratic party and send them off to be community organizers. Instead, they want to take private property away from individuals and place that property, the apes, in a preserve in Central Florida controlled by? There the great apes will be able to live out their lives in dignity. Ever wonder why ape enclosures have glass instead of bars? Apes like to fling shit given a chance and a reasonable chance for a hit.

One of these days I’m gonna go to a Democratic party function. Just imagine blowjobs on demand, according to BJ Bill the serial rapist and his supporters. (An MSM columnist once defended BJ Bill after he essentially bounced his dick off of a woman’s chin and asked for some head. She objected, and he didn’t persist. This behavior, according to the columnist, was not sexual harassment because he did not continue with the display and before the display had no way of knowing that his behavior would be considered objectionable.) All that money and time spent in bars instead of Democratic functions. Who knew?

Back to the Judge. Once the criteria for personhood is established and perfected on appeal, what happens next. What if the next Judge applies the criteria in reverse? Perhaps it starts with an unrepentant pedophile and the Judge taking all the facts and circumstances into consideration determines that the pedophile does not meet the criteria to be considered human and instead rules that he qualifies for “personhood.” That would mean the pedophile cannot return to society, however, there is this idyllic spot in Central Florida.

Eureka! Civilization has spread far and wide. The stereotypical ape is sitting under a tree eating fruit that he just picked from a tree. There are places where apes are urbanized; Gibraltar, Java, and Thailand. Urbanized apes require consideration; it would be only fair to include a cityscape; buildings, rooftops, streets. With a cityscape, the pedophiles and other near-do-wells reduced to personhood have a street corner to hang on. There is no need to provide running water or electricity, just the building shell. Put in an overhead monorail system and the project could pay for itself!

On second thought, personhood, I could get used to it.